Understanding woman

What she says and what she means
By: Dhanyasree.M



It is a universally accepted truth that men and women have different wavelengths in communication. Women develop their intimacy with other people through talk and they love to talk and talk.... They will convey a lot through their expressions and simple words during their elaborate talk. Women are more emotional than men and they expect their men to talk in an emotional and common language.

However men prefer to use short and direct expressions for communication other than the elaborate female language. Since men are unaware of the female expressions they fail to understand what their woman really means while she says something. This oblivion in communication inflames most sensitive issues and conflicts in the relationship. Imagine a usual conversation between a man and a woman:

She: I thought you'd be coming late for the movie (Followed by a soft sigh)

Here the soft sigh indicates that she is content and relaxed about him. He may not even understand how happy and content she is to have him at her side

He: How long you've been waiting?
She: Just five minutes.

This 'five minutes' is equivalent to half an hour. This is the same 'five minutes' in the previous instances when she had told him 'five minutes' and disappeared to put on her costumes for hours. Here also he may not understand that she was waiting for his company for a long time.

She: How do I look now?
He: Fine

Here he makes the serious mistake of not understanding woman's language. 'Fine' is the word often used at the end of an argument to shut one up, when you are confident that you are right. Here she understands that rather than complimenting her, he wants her to stop her talks.

He: Why are you silent?
She: Nothing (Followed by a loud sigh)

She wants him to be in his place and not to intrude into her personal feelings. The loud sigh indicates that she feels that he is fool at that instant. She also wonders why she wastes her time with him.

He: I was at Mr. Nelson's farmhouse yesterday.
She: Oh I talked to him about what you were doing last night
This 'Oh' is equivalent to the expression 'fine' from her side. She wants him to end the conversation instead of boring her again.

He: It is really frustrating to hear that you called him again. (Pauses)
She: Go ahead (with raised eyebrows)
Here she is daring an argument. If he cannot understand what she means, the talk will definitely end up in a conflict.

He: You must not poke your nose into whatever I do. (Pauses again)
She: Go ahead (normal eyebrows)
Here she is giving up the argument with a feeling that whatever he does or thinks is not mattered to her.

He: I'd considered of taking you along with me.
She: Thanks a lot. It would've been my pleasure to accompany you there.
Here she is not meant to thank him for his concern. He had already hurt her by going alone to the farmhouse. She is just ticking him off for his uncaring action.

He: I've an idea
She: Please do tell me
Her dialogue is not a mere statement. She is giving him a fair chance to come up with the truth or the real excuse.

He: we'll go to Mr. Nelson's next week for a holiday.
She: That's Okay
Her statement implies the idea that she is not all considering the idea of visiting the farmhouse. She wants to think long and hard before repaying him for his neglect.

He: Wait! I'll open the door for you
She : Thanks

She really means to thank him here. He has to just say ' Welcome'.

There are a lot of expressions and statements through which women say what they really mean. If man can understand the female language properly a lot of conflicts in the relationship can be avoided.

Men have to follow some simple exercises to understand what is really meant by women when they say something. A man should try to understand his woman's problems and be a good listener. Moreover it is most important on the part of men to understand that women develop their intimacy through talk and if they really desire the woman's company he must not fail to understand the meaning of her talks.